The middle

One of the things I've learnt from my massive experience of running three half marathons ever is that milestones are important. Each kilometer is an important marker that lets you know you're making progress.

But the best marker is the middle. Once you've reached the halfway mark (10.55km, in the case of a half marathon) you know that the distance to come is less than the distance you've covered. And this is important, psychologically if nothing else. It tells you that you're capable of covering the last 1/2 because you've already covered the first.

Today is exactly half way of our pregnancy. And it's been an interesting journey so far. The little girl/guy is starting to move around quite a bit and, according to the Who's Your Daddy app I've been using, weighs about the same as a bicycle helmet and is "the size of a Chuck Norris postcard". Meg is starting to show now (and so am I, apparently). We're starting to think about baby names (knowing quite well that some aren't even remotely in contention) and about designs for the little one's room. We're starting to think about things we need to beg, borrow or buy. We've booked a prenatal class. It's starting to get real.

An actual photo of my actual baby right now.
According to my app, he/she is the size of Chuck Norris -- or a postcard of him, anyway.

So, at the halfway mark, what have I learnt? A few things, actually.

1. It takes a while for it to feel real. As the dad-to-be, you don't feel what the mom-to-be does; you don't have the nausea, the growing belly, the cravings, the anti-cravings (i.e. the things you can't stand to eat -- in Meg's case, chicken). The excitement is there, but it's not something you think about all the time. Don't feel weird if this happens to you, fellow expectant fathers. It is normal. It does feel weird.
2. You need to find a way to get involved. The thing is, though, I don't know what that really is -- and I don't think I was really as involved as I could have and should have been. That app I mentioned earlier is really worth getting; it's got little tips and hints that help you to get involved more (just little reminders about how the mom will be feeling and how you should respond, about how you can do more things that make her life easier). It's something else couple will need to work out, and it'll probably take some time to work it out. But you got to work it out.

   

   That feeling when you get to the halfway mark and you're still going strong.

3. It's all about her! It really, really is. Especially in the beginning -- and especially if she's battling with nausea and vomiting -- you need to make sure that she's okay. Our first gynea visit was because Meg's stomach was more sore than she felt happy with. Blood tests had confirmed the pregnancy, but we were about 2/3 weeks away from needing to see the gynea for a scan -- but we didn't take a chance and took her it. It turns out that nothing was wrong at all, but it's a lesson that, especially early on, that she needs to be happy and comfortable (even if it means that occasionally in-hindsight-unnecessary doc's visit).
4. Chat to mates. Preferably mates who have actually had children, because otherwise their advice will probably be things like: "Don't have kids" and "Run". But other dads, especially ones your age, will be able to chat to you about what you're going through and will go through. It's important.
5. Have fun. When the baby comes, life will be completely different. So enjoy where you're at before that happens. Enjoy it the same way you enjoyed dating. If you're married, enjoy it in the same way you enjoyed your engagement and you enjoyed the pre-baby part of the marriage.

Halfway. It's an important milestone. I'll learn more things as I go (and I have learnt more than this, but I'll share some of the other stuff later). And I cannot wait.