What does a guinea pig have to do with anything?

An actual picture of our baby right now

So our baby is a guinea pig. Not literally, one would hope -- although, if my of-Greek-heritage genes dominate then fur is likely. But our kid is the size of a guinea pig at the moment.

According to the (really excellent) Who's Your Daddy app, Blu is currently 500g. It's not an exact science, of course, because every child is different, etc, etc, etc. But based on our last scan, it's pretty damn accurate. Believe it or not, a guinea pig is not the weirdest thing that he/she has been compared to. Let's start at the beginning.

• Week 0-7: A unicorn

          I didn't understand this. I really didn't. Blu was "the size of a unicorn", i.e. 0cm, and weighed "the weight of expectation". WHAT??? I literally cannot even.

• Week 8: A paperclip

          Now we're getting somewhere! An actual object I can wrap my head around. At this early stage (and we hadn't even told any one yet) Blu weighed as much as a paper clip and was the size of a keyboard key. He/she even had a "weird little tongue"...whatever that means.

As long as our kid isn't as annoying as the MS Word paperclip thing, I'll be thrilled!

• Week 13: AA battery

          I've been hit in the head with a battery (don't ask) and it really hurts. I suspect, however, that it didn't hurt as much as childbirth will. Maybe. Anyway. Just more than three months in and Blu weighed 23g and was the size of a James and the Giant peach. Progress!

• Week 14: YODA!!!!

          Aaaaaaaw yeah! The kid is a Star Wars legend. Weighed at 43g Blu did, and the size of a floppy disk he/she was.

• Week 15: Slow loris

          Look at it! Just look at it!

HO. LEE. CRAP! It's amazing.

• Week 20: MC Hammer and beer

          Okay, maybe not MC Hammer. At 300g, Blu was the weight of a hammer and the size of a beer bottle. On these two facts alone, Blu has to be a boy, right?

That leaves us at Week 23 and back to the guinea pig. And guinea pigs are pretty damn cute.